The Conversation I'm Starting
There are those moments when you have a conversation with someone, and suddenly you're all bound together because you share your humanity in one simple moment.-Ralph Fiennes
Love without conversation is impossible.
- Mortimer Adler
You know that little thing I say at the end of each blog post, something to the effect of "leave a comment?!" Well, let me tell you a little bit more about the conversation I am hoping to start with you.
First of all, the way I connect is through sharing. I tell about my experience in hopes that you will tell me about yours. Share and Tell was always my favorite day in lower school. My boyfriend always jokes with me because he'll say something like "It's hot in here." And I'll respond, "I'm not hot." Or he'll say, "I'm tired." To which I'll say, "I've got a ton of energy!" And with love and a little bit of poking fun, he'll say, "It's not always about you." I know it's not always about me, and I'm not trying to make it be. It's not that I'm not hearing him, or that I don't care about his experience of the world. It's that, as a Four, I am self-referencing, and oftentimes, I connect through comparison. And I want to connect most of all.
Whenever I meet someone new, I always try to break the ice by sharing, usually a story. Again, it's not because I am self-involved, although, I can be guilty of that, as well. It's that I want to make the other person feel comfortable and that I am trustworthy. So, if I am revealing, self-disclosing, and honest, maybe you will open up to me, too and together, we can forge a connection.
One of the reasons I was drawn to the Enneagram, was because it was such a helpful and spot-on road map to my patterns. It was like a light bulb went off, or seeing clearly for the first time. Everything just seemed to make sense. Parts of myself that I had inherently known, but could never fully verbalize, came to the surface. Like the joy that passes over a two-year old's face when he is first able to communicate "I'm hungry." I was ecstatic that I could finally use words and concepts to describe aspects of myself that I had subconsciously known all along. Now, I am also a diarist. I keep fervid journals of my thoughts, discoveries and experiences. I have been doing so for as long as I can remember, and therefore it's the easiest way I know how to express myself.
My intention for this blog is three-fold. It's a way for me to express myself and my reflections. It's a way for me to share with you the Enneagram system and how it shows up in day-to-day life. And lastly, and most importantly, it's a way for me to connect with you by starting the conversation.
As a soon-to-be Certified Enneagram Consultant, I am trained in the Narrative Tradition. This means that we learn about type by hearing from people's own experiences. Through question and response, through stories, we get at what it means to be a specific type. I am an expert at Type Four, and therefore, I can tell you all about what life is like from the perspective of a Four. What I don't intrinsically know is what life is like from the other eight perspectives. This is where you come in. This is why I invite you to share. So, please do!
Let's start with some fun beginner getting-to-know-you questions...
- What is a nickname that people call you? (Not related to your actual name, but more related to your personality).
- What is one aspect of your personality that trips you up over and over again?
- How are you your own worst enemy and how are you your own best friend?